there are 4 very important factors, in my mind, that determine you have reached adulthood.
its not your education. its not how much money you make. its not what you drive. its not your clothes, your paper accomplishments, your lineage...blah blah bleh
1 - be dumped.
2 - be the dumper.
3 - get fired.
4 - live completely and entirely on your own.
yeah, theres probably a few other things that leave some scars that build character and resiliency...certainly people that have survived disaster and disease and tragedy. i cant include everyone and everyones personal circumstances. you get the jist...
Being dumped. typically youre blindsided by it - youre devastated because you cant believe someone has stopped caring for you. all plans for a combined future - in the shitter. lick your wounds and move on. you are not responsible for someone elses behavior. just your own.
Being the dumper. the person you have chosen no longer compliments your goals and ideals. maybe it was just all wrong from the start. maybe some red flags went up and you cant fathom a future with a person whose character doesnt jive with yours. maybe its that he farmer hankies wherever he wants...whatever it is...dump him/her quickly and keep your dignity. dont insult them or do personal assassinations. you picked them for some reason...when you remove a band aid...do you pull it slowly or quickly? either way it still hurts. but dont compromise yourself.
Get fired. Sometimes the writing is on the wall - you either recognize you were a shitty employee and the sands were going to run out or maybe you work for a shitty seedy dishonest company and you realize that they are suspicious of you. maybe you had no idea the ax was going to fall and you get canned. either way - being fired is a wake up call financially and emotionally. check yourself - dont wreck yourself...its like a trolley car - miss one, shortly another will come along.
Live completely and entirely on your own. the most complex of all four. you are responsible for every action and reaction. Spent all your money on that new ______ and now you cant pay your electric. refridgerator has decided to quit running and you come home to warm stinky meat. cat threw up at the door and when you swing it open you smear hairballs, mucous and half chewed kitty kibble across the floor. your car has decided to take an unplanned mechanical dump on you and your rent/mortgage is due...no car=no work. no work = no money. no money = stomach tied in knots while you sift through your jewelry box looking for something to hock...being completely and entirely on your own and responsible for yourself in every matter and capable of handling your situation is paramount. im not saying you master it - but handling your affairs means that being dumped, being the dumper, getting canned, surviving disease, tragedy etc are all part of the human condition.
now grow up
